I can't explain well...

Written by Yoshi

   I cannot believe that next week will be six^th week. Time which can be stopped by nobody flies so fast, and I have been in Riverside over four months. I have had a lot of experienced that is included both good and bad. I can prize me about two things which I never absent and late so far, and I have made many friends who came from various countries in the world. I am really happy to meet them and teachers. Unfortunately, I usually feel emotional instability these days. I’m wondering why people have trouble , and not only happiness, and why people are feeling something always. It’s so complicated because it relate to brain which is relate to medical.        

I am rich, beautiful, smart, kind, have a nice body and face like a fashion model ; moreover , I have a marvelous family, house, friend and a boy friend who is handsome, tall, kind, a fashionable dresser, hard worker, a popular person, an athlete… like these too much high ideal are the source of my distress. Maybe nobody doesn’t think their ideal like me more than once. Why am I stupid? Where is my handsome boy friend? I think about that differences between real my life and my too much high ideal, and I compare them. Of course, I suppose to that ideal life is happier than present real life, so my mind fall into the bottom of tank deeply every times again and again. I’m impatient which personality causes irritate me, and I’m negative. Negative thinking makes me lose motivates. It is called a vicious circle. I don’t want to think negatively, but I am always thinking about negative things involuntarily. When I am terribly distressed about present real life, I can’t do anything even dancing I loved. Nevertheless, I want to believe that slump, worry or trouble thinking makes me stronger than before after these were completely disappeared, but it cannot be awarded by self. I mean that it difficult to find self-growth; furthermore, even if I cannot realize own ability or capacity, someone who knows me well notices our improvement.

    In conclusion, human is too complex and difficult to understand especially me. In the world where is not person who is completely same as you except an exception such as doppelganger; in addition there are full of individuality of living things which are humans, animals, plants so world is so fascinating and interesting. Therefore, I’m interested in human emotion which is called psychology.